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Long ago, there was a man name Adir. He was generous and loving.
He didn’t have much money but always thought of others. He was wise and people
always went to him for advice. Adir had two sons. One of them was his real son,
Hanina, and the other one he adopted, Ranon. Adir adopted him because his
parents died and left him behind as an orphan. Being the generous man that Adir
was, he could not leave this boy by himself. He was surely not capable of
providing for himself.
Hanina was different from his father. He wasn’t hardworking or
generous. He was more careless about others. When his father would ask him to
do chores, Ranon would be the one who ends up doing them. Ranon was a hard
worker. He was extremely thankful that Adir took him in so anything that Ranon
needed help with he was right there.
Many years went by and Adir got really sick. His sons Hanina and
Ranon did not know what to do. They made many herbal remedies to help, but
nothing was working. Finally, Adir told them that it was his time to go. He
gave them a long lecture about helping each other and working hard to achieve a
good life. Before he took his last breath he said to his sons, “Hanina and
Ranon, if you take the road north of the river there will be land. On the land,
find the biggest rock and start digging around it. You should be able to find
something and that will bring you good fortune. Work together, my sons, and you
will find wealth.”
After their father’s funeral, they did exactly what he said.
They walked along the road north of the river and found the biggest rock. They
started digging and digging. They could not find anything. Day and night, they
kept on digging. They finally realized that they had dug so many acres of land
and still could not find anything. Hanina suggested that they just leave
because they weren’t going to find good fortune anywhere. Ranon felt the same
way, but he thought maybe they could put this land to use.
Hanina did not feel the same way at all. He said to Ranon,
"You are just wasting your time and mine." He picked up all of this
things and never came back to help Ranon. Something told Ranon to not give up,
so he started planting corn, tomatoes, rice, and many more vegetables. The
plants flourished quickly and he was able to sell them at the market. The people
were buying them so fast.
As many years went by, Ranon had a great business going on. It
brought him great wealth and a good life. On the other hand, Hanina was living
in a small town alone going from house to house begging for food. Ranon thought
to himself that he got really lucky with the land. Finally, he realized that
what his father was trying to tell them was hard work goes a long way. If his
father never told them to go dig to find good fortune, they would have never
done it. Wealth or gold won’t just be given to you. You need to work hard and
good things will come your way.
Author’s
note: For
my story, I used one of the Jewish Fairy Tales called “The Fairy Frog.” I
enjoyed reading this fairy tale and I thought I could change it up a bit. In the
original story, their father told them to buy the first thing that is offered
to them so they bought a frog and did everything for it. They fed it and lost
almost all of their things for it. The frog turned into a fairy at the end,
which gave them good fortune. We all know what fairies do, so in my story I
wanted to change it. In the story, the fairy granted their wishes but in mine I
wanted to add more of a realistic view so I took out the fairy. I added another
character just to change things up a bit. I wanted to add a brother that wasn’t
blood related to show that they will love you just the same even though they
are adopted. I mainly focused on the point that some times things aren’t
just given to you and you have to work hard for it. Giving up is definitely not
a way to make things better for you and, in this story, the person who gave up
did not get anything. The lesson of “The Fairy Frog” is that if you are
generous and sacrifice things for some one, in the end you will be rewarded. It
is similar to the lesson in my story.
Bibliography: Jewish Fairy Tales by Gertrude Landa. Link to The Fairy Frog
I really like this story and the message that it gives. I am not familiar with the original story so went and read it too. Honestly, I like yours better. The dynamics of the brothers was interesting though I would have liked it more if Hanina would have stayed true to the character you gave him and gave up early on leaving all the wealth to Ranon.
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ReplyDeleteThis is a really good story, I really like how you gave it a realistic interpretation and I see the moral you were showing here. You can't always just get things handed to you and if you work hard, you can get what you want. Taking the fairies out was an interesting choice and I really enjoyed it, great job.
DeleteI really enjoyed your story and remake of the original! I never have read the original until now so I could grasp the concept of what you were trying to write, and I loved yours! I like how you made the point of working for what you want and not just having everything placed to you on a silver platter. Your story was written very well and I enjoyed reading it. I kept wanting to read more and see where it could have ended if you changed the ending; which you didn't need to because the ending was great!
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a great story! I haven't read the original, so I didn't really have anything to compare it to, but I thought you had a great interpretation. I love that you added the adopted brother. My little brother is adopted from South Korea, and stories about adoption always really resonate with me. I also liked that you took out the fairy. I think this made the story more modern, and it sounds like it gave it a better moral than the original as well. I honestly don't have many critiques for this story. I guess you could add a bit more scene and character description, and maybe even a bit more dialog if you wanted to flesh it out some more. But overall I thought it was awesome—a great first addition to your portfolio. I'm looking forward to reading more of the stories you add here!
ReplyDeleteThis was such a good story! It is a sad stereotype that older generations have of our generation that we don't work hard and aren't motivated to do anything! This story makes me think of that and reminds me that we just have to prove people wrong sometimes. I like how you set up the characters from the beginning talking about their personality and morals. It helped explains the choices the two sons made when it came time for them to go dig and put in the handwork they had too. Having Hanina end up poor, along and helpless was a good use of karma. Sometimes we don't want to put the work in at the present moment, but it goes to show that if you invest yourself and your efforts into something, the payout is so worth it in the end. I love a good moral story! I can't wait to read more of your portfolio!
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ReplyDeleteAmazing story! I knew of the story of “The Fairy Frog”, but I did not recognize it. I think your version is much better than the original. You added the realistic view in this story in addition to the story about generosity and obedience. You kept the morals of the original story, but your twist made this story more intriguing. With your version, many people can relate to their life because not every people is given a chance to have fairy frog, but everybody always have a chance to work hard and provide for themselves. I really like your character Adir and his last message to his sons. There are some parts I am confused of. In the sentence “…Adir took him in so anything that Ranon needed help with he was right there,” did you mean anything that Hanina needed help with? In addition, I want to ask if Ranon ever go look for Hanina and help him out. Since Ranon is very grateful for what Adir had to him, would he be worry for Adir’s son, who is not hardworking? To conclude, I really like your version, and I hope to read more stories from you. Keep up the good work!
Great story, I really enjoyed reading it. I especially liked how you changed your story to be more realistic and relatable. I was kind of surprised that it was originally a Jewish fairytale because when I was reading it, it sounded a lot like a parable you would find in the Bible. I also liked the characters that you used. They were very relatable, especially the two sons…I can find myself acting like both of them. I would suggest reading your story out loud to somebody else. When I read my stories out loud to myself I still do not always catch the errors because it is my writing and I know what I plan on saying. When I read it to a friend, they can either tell me sentences that need to be reworded or other things that do not make sense. You write very well and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteI always love a good story about brothers, so I was excited to see what you’ve done with this. I love how you’ve taken the trope of the real son and the false son and turned it on its head, so that the adopted son, Ranon, was not only a better guy, but also more like their father than the biological son was. It also made perfect sense, based on the way you set the characters up: of course Ranon would be harder-working and more grateful, because he can appreciate how much Adir did for them. The way the father’s pseudo-prophecy ended up being fulfilled in a roundabout way was a nice touch, too, and I like how you slipped the moral of the story in at the end without being too preachy about it.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I love fairy stories, I honestly prefer your take on the story to the original. Adding a “bad” brother means that this still has that fairy tale/myth feel to it, but the entire thing also felt a lot more grounded, which fit the vibe of the moral a lot better too. Sorry I don’t have any constructive criticism for you, but this is in great shape already, and I enjoyed it. Nicely done.
This was an amazing story! I really love everything about it. I think you did a perfect job of telling a good story but also convey to the reader a great message about hard work and how we should never give up. I really liked how Ranon was adopted and yet he was the one that listened more to the father than the biological son Hanina. It is very fascinating to see how hard work always pays off and I think you showed it clearly in your story. Moreover, I also liked the fact that from the beginning you show the difference between the two siblings. However, I wonder if it would have not been good to finish the story with Ranon calling Hanina back to share the money with him. Overall, you did a great job with everything, I look forward to your future stories.
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